Ben je in voor een fijne portie leedvermaak?

Ben je in voor een fijne portie leedvermaak?

Zomer 2018. Je kunt het soms zo hebben, zin in mosselen, de hele week al. Ok, het is  dan wel geen mosselseizoen, maar ik had de hele week al ‘hangmosselen’ zien ‘liggen’ bij de AH. Zaterdagochtend. G. doet een boodschapje bij de AH en komt met de teleurstellende mededeling dat er nog 1 pak mosselen is met het  predicaat ‘wij gooien niets weg’. Dan maar in de auto richting Cambuurplein, waar een concentratie van 3 supermarkten ook 3 kansen op verse bieden. Wat denk je? Niks. Maar ja, als je iets in je hoofd hebt…. Dus op naar de Makro en bingo! De vreugde is zo groot dat we prompt vergeten op de prijs te letten en we € 11 zonder btw afrekenen. Maar we hebben ze! Voor de rest van de boodschapjes zet G. mij even af bij de AH. Je voelt het al aankomen, ze hebben verse mosselen ontvangen en ze zijn ook nog eens in de bonus € 8,99 met btw.

Gitaargedoe en verstopping
Tevreden zet G. zich aan de volgende klus van dit weekend. Lastig uitleggen voor een leek als ik ben, maar als hij een bepaalde snaar aandrukt slaat de klank dood…of zoiets. En dat zou liggen aan een iets te hoog dwarsliggertje of hoe dat ook maar heet. Een hoop gesleutel, gemopper, gepingel en gepriegel met onwillige schroeven verder, slaat de frustratie toe. Inmiddels begint zich bij mij in de keuken een plas water te vormen op de vloer vanachter het fornuis. Oei, verstopping, dat kan er ook nog wel bij. Op de fles keukenontstopper – 3e bezoekje aan de  AH alweer vandaag-  staat ’het werkt terwijl u slaapt’. We slaan dat advies in de wind . Ik kook wat soep en G. krijgt zowaar de slag te pakken met de gitaar. De keukenontstopper doet ondertussen zijn werk en we schuiven alles weer op de plaats. Ik geef de wasmachine een zetje en we zijn voorzichtig weer tevreden.

Natte voeten
Tijdens het koken denk ik dat ik knoei met water, want mijn voeten worden nat…. Het vloeken in huize Beek bereikt een hoogtepunt. Waren we verdomme tóch maar gaan slapen! Opnieuw alles van de plek. Een soort monsterontstopper van de broer van G. is aan zet. Daarnaast bedenkt mijn handige klusser een manier om de ‘wroetveer’ om dat ellendige bochtje te krijgen. En ineens – poef- is het opgelost, bijna een soort anticlimax. Yesss! En dan gaan we nu leuke dingen doen. Mosselen koken in een mooi triple biertje. G. belt met de snackbar en laat de frietjes alvast in de frituur gooien. Het huishouden loopt weer gesmeerd. Het geurt mmmmm  in huis en manlief pakt de autosleutels om in één flow de frietjes op te pikken.

De accu is dood…
Ik durf bijna niet verder te vertellen, maar het is echt waargebeurd…. de autolichten waren kennelijk blijven branden en de accu is levenloos. De mosselen zijn bijna klaar, dus G. maar à l’improviste op de motor in korte broek naar het eind van de straat voor de frietjes. We geven de brui aan alles en gaan eten en chillen. Morgen weer een dag.

Dubbele pech
Zondag. De hulptroep(en) in de vorm van de broer van Gl. komt de auto aantrekken. Lukt voor geen meter, dus aan de opstartkabels. Broer draait de auto en – ik lieg het niet –  onder zijn auto vormt zich een grote plas water, die mij meteen doet denken aan wat er bij mij in de keuken gebeurde. Er is ‘iets’ geknapt. De broers overwegen nog iemand te vragen met een derde auto, maar dat is vast de goden verzoeken.

Inmiddels is het  12.30 uur, de ANWB is nog nagniffelend vertrokken, De broer van G. kan weer rijden, G. rijdt de accu even vol en we hopen van harte dat de wet van Murphy nu eindelijk is uitgewerkt. En eigenlijk hadden we een rustig weekendje willen werken….

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